It’s My Almost My Birthday and I’m Freaking Out…Again

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I’m having a block around this blog you guys. As I often do when things get real and personal and feel just very…big. But I’m going to try and pull something out for you anyways cause you deserve it and there is something bubbling underneath the surface…I guess I just need to keep writing till I figure it out. My 28th year has been a lot. I always knew I was a pretty damn good multi-tasker but this was a whole other level. I decided to really take charge of my health and my career in a way that I never have before. My goals weren’t the only thing that became crystal clear…things steps I had to take to actually achieve them started to come into focus and make sense, and I actually started to do them.

I’ve learned so much and lost so much…not to mention losing 30 lbs of weight. Yeah. 30 lbs. If you had told me a year ago I’d be 30 lbs lighter it would have been hard for me to believe. It’s funny, as I could feel myself losing weight I kept thinking, where are all these parts of me going? Or is that even me? Where do I end and my body begin, or vise versa? I know…I’m weird.

When it comes to music, I came to the full and unshakable understanding that I want to completely change mainstream music as we know it. Like. Woah. Tall order. But it’s true. And who says I can’t be pop artist? And SayReal can’t be a pop band? I got sick of hearing no and decided I was going to be the one to yes.

I also stopped expecting so much of those around me and starting appreciating them for who they are. Instead of focusing on needing them to be someone or something they’re not, I started paying much more attention to how our different styles in life could complement one another.

I spent way less time with my friends (I’m sorry!). It’s not because I didn’t want to see them, or because I didn’t miss them, but it’s because I know with my whole heart that I can actually be a better friend if actually take ownership of my own crap. And that takes time and effort that, for a while, can take up your whole life.

I guess what it comes down to is that from the time I turned 27 till now, I needed to prioritize me. I spent a lot of time being quiet and listening to what my body, my soul…my voice…What they needed me to do. Whether that was go to the gym, read a book, write a song, go salsa dancing, study up on marketing, whatever…I just had to do it. And I did. And that feels good. I feel like I’m finally ready to turn 28, continue on this journey of saturn return (it’s intense), and once again be with all of you in the world. Whether you’re just getting to know me, or have been following my career thanks for always standing by me. It’s the best birthday gift a girl could ask for.
Love & Music,

P.S. My actual birthday is the 22nd in case you were wondering.


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